Everything Changes and Stays the Same

Written November 27, 2005

It’s been a month or so since I’ve written anything not work related. As I think about what has happened in that period of time, I’m amazed at how much has happened, yet how little changes. For instance, take my landscaping issues. As you probably know, I bought a newly constructed cottage near the town of Asheville. I felt like I was getting this wonderful “blank slate” to work with for my “growing” (pun totally intended) ambitions. I was unprepared for the projects required around the house and yard for proper drainage. I was unprepared for the time that it takes to see projects completed. I had two very large, mature Red Oak trees in my front yard that I had to take down. The trees shared a common trunk base growing away from each other in search of their sun. But one was rotting and larger limbs were falling with each strong storm. When one such limb dented my neighbor’s chain link fence, I decided it was time. All other projects that are underneath them and around them could not proceed until they were gone and cleared away.

I sadly watched the entire day it took the treecutters to bring them down and cut them up into more manageable sizes. A couple of neighbors worked a few days splitting it and hauling it away. But there is still plenty of wood, strewn about in mad disarray in my front yard. A little orderliness is coming out of it though. The Dirty Hoe’s have taken some of the better rounds and created a small patio that I will put flowers around next sprint. I will put a small bench or table and use it to sit and chat with my neighbors as they stroll by on the street in warm weather.

I went to a house warming party for a woman who moved to Asheville only six weeks before. In six weeks, she had renovated her house and gathered an interesting variety of furniture and created a home that she could feel happy in with her friends and family. I tend to compare myself to people like that. She shared that she devoted all her time to the effort. Perhaps if I weren’t working at all, I could devote more time and be further along. I waste too much energy in my head imaging the things that should be done, rather than enjoying the things that I have done.

I am working and truly enjoying the work I am doing here in Asheville. I am getting more opportunities to write press releases and strategic marketing plans. These tasks challenge me similarly to art. You start with just a little bit of information, and weave together a whole that is hopefully pleasing to read and informative. I’ve gotten positive feedback from my employer. I’ve never been comfortable with words. I think this comes from insecurities developed from growing up in a household where education wasn’t valued, although hard work is. So, I guess that explains my need to work hard at working with words.

I am also doing a lot of freelance for a couple of clients in New York. I will soon be releasing a new website for a florist in Southampton. In addition to these, I have also been offered a job teaching one night a week at the local community college next semester. This is probably the biggest challenge of all. I will be teaching two graphics software – Indesign and Photoshop – along with the basics of design to people who are in administrative positions and are asked to do company newsletters and flyers.

Teaching is something I always secretly craved to do, but with my fear of public speaking, had not pursued. However, after my experience last year of giving the student address at my commencement ceremony, I feel more ready to accept the challenge. The big lesson I learned from that experience is to be prepared. My intention is to work through all the exercises in the book before my class starts. I also think after the first week, it will become easier. In my heart, I think it is something I can do, if I can only get outside myself and do it.

Until next time,
gwen