Cafe Quandary

Dear Friends,

I haven’t been writing my journal blogs as much as I would like. As you know, if you have read the October 10 post, my friend the Beanstreet closed its doors. Since then, I’ve adopted a Sunday morning exercise program. I joined a gym and have been using the relative uncrowdedness of the time to get in some aerobics and steam room time. I have gained at least another 5 pounds. How can this be? My motivation comes from Mary, who joined with me. Exercise is her religion and she is trying to convert me. I know in my heart she is right, but oh, it’s so hard to get off my lazy butt. She was otherwise occupied this morning, so I decided to play hooky and catch up on my journal.

The difficult part is where to write. I’m not exactly sure why, but I do better in coffee shops, around other people and where there is a window to the world. Perhaps it the desire to be connected to the larger world and write within that context that drives me to leave my house and fireplace on a Sunday morning.

It wasn’t hard at all in Manhattan. The walls of a small apartment are enough to drive one out on the street. I made friends there - one of which I am still in touch with.

My choices – as I know them right now – are Malaprops, the bookstore downtown. It has wireless connection and a café. It’s quite busy with tourist and locals. I’ve been there a few times before, but its better for a shorter time since the chairs aren’t comfortable for longer periods of time.

The obvious places are Starbucks and Port City Java, both chains. Port City is my trial choice this morning. It’s on the Smokey Mountain Parkway, hidden from tourist and other interesting peoples. It’s nearly empty, with only one other writer. But there is a gas fireplace, lots of easy chairs and sofas, and the woman behind the counter is engaging. The music is quiet big band instrumentals, which is easy to think with. Not a bad choice, but lacking in interesting people. I think I will need to find something more urban for that.

There is a small place in West Asheville. It used to be the Relaxed Reader and now has been bought by two women and called Out Spoken. It offers all amenities that I desire, but the drawback is that it doesn’t open until 10am. I am a morning writer, before the day gets complicated and full.

So, the quest goes on. I can’t believe that in my chosen city there isn’t the perfect place for my Sunday mornings – when Mary and the gym aren’t kicking my butt. I just haven’t found it yet. If you are from Asheville, recommendations are most welcome.

Caffeinatedly yours,
gwen

Everything Changes and Stays the Same

Written November 27, 2005

It’s been a month or so since I’ve written anything not work related. As I think about what has happened in that period of time, I’m amazed at how much has happened, yet how little changes. For instance, take my landscaping issues. As you probably know, I bought a newly constructed cottage near the town of Asheville. I felt like I was getting this wonderful “blank slate” to work with for my “growing” (pun totally intended) ambitions. I was unprepared for the projects required around the house and yard for proper drainage. I was unprepared for the time that it takes to see projects completed. I had two very large, mature Red Oak trees in my front yard that I had to take down. The trees shared a common trunk base growing away from each other in search of their sun. But one was rotting and larger limbs were falling with each strong storm. When one such limb dented my neighbor’s chain link fence, I decided it was time. All other projects that are underneath them and around them could not proceed until they were gone and cleared away.

I sadly watched the entire day it took the treecutters to bring them down and cut them up into more manageable sizes. A couple of neighbors worked a few days splitting it and hauling it away. But there is still plenty of wood, strewn about in mad disarray in my front yard. A little orderliness is coming out of it though. The Dirty Hoe’s have taken some of the better rounds and created a small patio that I will put flowers around next sprint. I will put a small bench or table and use it to sit and chat with my neighbors as they stroll by on the street in warm weather.

I went to a house warming party for a woman who moved to Asheville only six weeks before. In six weeks, she had renovated her house and gathered an interesting variety of furniture and created a home that she could feel happy in with her friends and family. I tend to compare myself to people like that. She shared that she devoted all her time to the effort. Perhaps if I weren’t working at all, I could devote more time and be further along. I waste too much energy in my head imaging the things that should be done, rather than enjoying the things that I have done.

I am working and truly enjoying the work I am doing here in Asheville. I am getting more opportunities to write press releases and strategic marketing plans. These tasks challenge me similarly to art. You start with just a little bit of information, and weave together a whole that is hopefully pleasing to read and informative. I’ve gotten positive feedback from my employer. I’ve never been comfortable with words. I think this comes from insecurities developed from growing up in a household where education wasn’t valued, although hard work is. So, I guess that explains my need to work hard at working with words.

I am also doing a lot of freelance for a couple of clients in New York. I will soon be releasing a new website for a florist in Southampton. In addition to these, I have also been offered a job teaching one night a week at the local community college next semester. This is probably the biggest challenge of all. I will be teaching two graphics software – Indesign and Photoshop – along with the basics of design to people who are in administrative positions and are asked to do company newsletters and flyers.

Teaching is something I always secretly craved to do, but with my fear of public speaking, had not pursued. However, after my experience last year of giving the student address at my commencement ceremony, I feel more ready to accept the challenge. The big lesson I learned from that experience is to be prepared. My intention is to work through all the exercises in the book before my class starts. I also think after the first week, it will become easier. In my heart, I think it is something I can do, if I can only get outside myself and do it.

Until next time,
gwen